The Freedom diagnosis

September 15th of 2015 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was just that simple. You are going about with regular life, then you get the news. I think numb would best describe the state of self. Honestly, I later realized I had been numbing myself from life and that was a part of the problem. My mind was blank. I was disconnected from myself. I didn’t understand. I didn’t know any better. I had lived much of my life in a fight or flight mode and was a lost little girl living in shame and could not grasp the idea of self-worth. These points are very important as I proceeded forward in my journey. I was in a state of unhappiness, stress, and struggle, so my body developed a chronic disease, and it showed up in the form of breast cancer. 

This diagnosis turned into much more than I ever anticipated. There is a stigma that cancer is a death sentence, scary, you need to be a fighter and a survivor, and everyone says “you got this” because I am sure they don’t know what else to say. You get sad and woe is me looks from people, some just avoid and say nothing, and everyone wants to be reassured that you are ok. Honestly, it was the start of being and feeling truly free. The most valuable lesson to date is advocating for myself rather than acting like a victim. The new mindset I developed over time was so empowering that it catapulted me into complete resilience and changed the trajectory of my life. I am thankful.

I chose natural and holistic resolutions to my problem. It worked. It is now parleying into a wellness adventure that is my passion. There are many layers. There are many options. There are many ways to tapestry together your formula. It is possible. I am living proof. I am your researcher. I am an example. Other people have self-healed. It’s not just me. I choose to share my journey and be open to all forms of wellness because I now know the power of the mind. Essentially everything can work. Only you can see it through, nobody else, not even the doctors. It’s all about you, every single ounce. You are the magic pill.

I have much clarity, including ideas on how I got sick in the first place. I had to go back to the roots, my roots. I faced all my unresolved emotions from years past. I see how the suppression of emotion and self-expression contributed to my poor health. I see how past trauma changed the trajectory of my life. I see how much was also self-inflicted. I understand how stress manifests and contributes to a toxic body. I had to essentially retrain my mind and upgrade to a new thinking system that supported my higher self and purpose in life. I am sure I still have lots of learning curves and embracing a self-healing journey is now a lifetime practice. I am ok and happy with my decision and the outcome.

My journey has now been 7 years. My cancer diagnosis was only part of the beginning. To give you a broader perspective, five months prior, in April 2015, my sister was also diagnosed with breast cancer. Within three weeks of diagnosis, she was in surgery, getting a  double mastectomy and reconstruction. There was the question of genetics playing a role in how we developed cancer. Nope, no BRCA gene was present for either of us. (by the way, she is doing well). With my sister and I being diagnosed the same year, the whole family was in shock. I think my mom took it the hardest. How did both of her daughters end up with cancer?

I was just turning 42 when I went through multiple mammograms, ultrasounds, mri’s, biopsies, and three doctor opinions to do surgery, radiation, and tamoxifen. A month after being diagnosed, my mom ran across a documentary series called The Truth About Cancer that was full of natural ways to heal. I was hooked. It made sense to me. My background was in health and fitness, so I thought I had this in the bag. I created a motto, “Watch Me Fly” as a means to support my endeavor and declare a future for myself. I was my Coach. I did my research.  I put together my natural healing plan and “opted out” of the conventional ways. I had no idea what was ahead and asked the universe to help me. I asked for guidance and said aloud, “lay it on me, I will do whatever it takes”. I had no idea what asking that really meant for me and the journey ahead.

I was on year 3 of my journey, it was September 2018 when my biggest cheerleader, my mom,  was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. This was now a family thing. My mom chose a very aggressive surgery with the intention of “getting out” as much cancer visible and then continuing with natural care. My sister and I became her caretaker. She passed away July 24th at 6pm in 2019. Pause. Eight weeks later, my 2nd mom (step-mom) passed away from congestive heart disease. Gulp. Four months later, as the world declared a pandemic and stay-at-home order, I lost all my jobs and began helping to care for my mom’s sister, who was also ill and passed away. Was this happening? What the hell is going on? Is disease really a thing that wipes out the human race so easily? Do we have any control over it?

Luckily, my natural self-care development helped me to weather all the storms. I realize I was rebirthing, building, dying, and creating all at the same time. Learning to nurture my mind, my body, and connect to my higher self probably saved my life. Living a holistic lifestyle shifts perspective on how to create the reality you desire. How to accept truths and trust the process. To know and really believe that everything is working through the divine. Nothing is happening to you but for you. I know that seems impossible to digest considering the apparent losses, BUT there has been an overwhelming shift that connects me with the whole. Cancer was the catalyst of many other traumatic events that spun my world into the best life I could not imagine at that time. You could say I made lemonade out of lemons. The journey is filled with hope, healing, my truth, and is a continued joyful process. It is a happy cancer story, not a sad cancer story. I am in good health. I am self-healed. I am still here. I started to slowly understand the powers of the universe, and the mind, and that everyone has their journey in life. I learned where there is light, there can be darkness, but to trust the process, no matter what. This journey has been the most heartbreaking and transformative time in my life.

I have gained much abundance, happiness, clarity in my life purpose, an open connection with the non-physical, and finally, a sense of peace. I have declared this my 2nd half of life and am prepared to live it to the fullest. This is a story of self-transformation. This is a story of hope. This is a story of self-love. This is a story of awakening. This is a story of letting go. This is a story of trusting the process. This is a story of being your advocate. This is a story of possibility. This is a story of mind over matter. This is a story of resilience. This is a story of self-worth. This is a story of eliminating struggle and victimization. This is a story of living out our purpose and being creators. This is a story about how I learned to be truly happy. This is a story about understanding ourselves and compassion. This is a story about feeling and seeking love from within ourselves. This is a story about the mind and perspective. This is a story about freedom.

to be continued….