Who is the HOLISTIC PROFESSOR?

the holistic professor

Stand up. Say it out loud. Say it with love. Put it into the universe. Trust the process. Let it happen. Enjoy each moment. Know that everything is happening for good. Care about how you feel and reach for what feels good. See what happens. Meditate. Get more clarity. Put more desires out into the world and start to create the most joyous life you can imagine. Yeah, I am pretty happy these days, and life is beautiful. These are the main sentiments that resonate over and over in my mind since I chose to heal myself naturally from cancer. 

The vital lessons learned within this process have schooled this teacher into a whole new life and adventures that go beyond my wildest dreams. Living, learning, creating, connecting with myself and others, being and sending love, thankfulness, enjoying mother nature, and trusting the process have all catapulted my eternal self into a world of bliss. Yes, it’s true. Life feels different. Life feels good. Life feels abundant. I catch the sunrise and sunset every day. The water and sky have never looked so blue. The birds seem to chirp so loud, and I feel happy as they fly from tree to tree. The grass DOES look greener on the other side. The flowers seem so fragrant. Vegetables have never tasted so good. Herbs and spices have never smelled so aromatic.

HOW and WHEN did life start to feel this way for me? It was a self-healing journey that was sparked by my cancer diagnosis. I laugh at myself because when I decided to heal naturally, I told myself I would take the year to do it. Since then, I discovered it was more about self-realization and self-inquiry, and I had a lot of legwork to do before I even attempted to say I understood what was transpiring in my life and why. I had no idea this would be a poignant and transitional time in my life. I had no idea what I was in for when I declared, “I am healing myself naturally.” I now have clarity about the past situation and consider this a lifetime journey. I have explored so many topics and experienced so many natural modalities it is hard to wrap my head around and remember. That is why I have formulated my wellness business around living holistically. In a nutshell, I discovered that I was living a very disconnected life, I had no idea how to be different, I got curious about myself and asked many questions, I did lots of exploration, I researched the roots of why I became sick, and overall I learned how to get connected and balance the entities known as our mind, body, soul, emotions and how to manage everything in a way that felt good and right for me. My journey now continues and also includes helping others through their life transitions in a holistic way. I look forward to helping people be happy and healthy and live life to the fullest. I believe that when we can start to understand ourselves and how the universe works, come up with a plan, get curious and explore, and are open to the process, things just start to shift naturally. It is a beautiful process. Understanding HOW this all evolved and seeing my personal story and process, might help you understand how it's all connected and how to approach your life transitions, whatever they may be.

In my past professional life, I had the typical mentality of a Personal Trainer because I was one. You exercise daily, eat clean, and lose weight or gain muscle to feel better. Technically, you expend more calories than you put in your body to make it happen, or you gradually lift heavier and heavier weights. I saw many people bandwagon, including myself.  I did what I was taught and followed the book rules. I was a taskmaster and came from a family of organizers. Life was methodical just as my profession seemed to be. This lifestyle was not fun for me. I was your typical hamster on the wheel every day, preaching and supporting the same thing that did not feel good. That’s how I was schooled, and that is what I did to live in the world and pay my bills. I had good jobs and was very independent, very capable, but very unhappy. I did not know I was so unhappy because I was also a professional emotion squasher. I lived in an ego world filled with narcissism, fake news, fake reality, blindness, and numbness. I put on my blinders and mask every day and rolled with it for years. I learned along the way that I was also a control freak. I learned this was a coping mechanism and about feeling safe. However, it did not provide safety, it made things worse. I lived as a broken little girl filled with self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, shame, and guilt all those years. I lived in my past trauma and my past stories. I had unresolved emotional hurts, so I became a workaholic to help me get through the days.

In my past personal life, I had failed in every relationship. Or at least that is how I perceived it. Since I was a workaholic, I made little time for family and friends. I woke up every day feeling stressed and pressured to do more. I was constantly on the computer working on side projects and trying to create the next thing for myself. I was tired. I was unfulfilled. I drank, ate, shopped, and watched movies to keep myself busy and make feeling unfulfilled all go away. I thought I was chasing the dream. I thought I would feel better if I earned more money, worked longer hours, and had a romantic relationship with a nice home. I had this persepctive for many years and was in the act of doing it every single day and I did it for years and knew no better. I knew I didn’t feel great, but I thought that was life and I was suppose to struggle and work hard. I constantly compared and critiqued myself. My presentation to the world looked very happy and balanced, and that I had it all. Inside, I felt like crap.

I had also been in the entertainment industry for years. I realized that was my outlet to be and feel free. Thank God for music and dance. They saved my life. I was able to cope and exist within the dysfunction of the relationship with myself and others for many years. I lived with stress and constant anxiety, but I did not know it at the time. I was so numb to everything and just kept going and doing. My days were filled with making myself busy. I was disconnected from the world and people and had no idea It could be different. My typical nights were filled with drinking wine, hammering away on the computer, and saying a quick hello to my then-boyfriend.  I vividly recall a particular night when I stood up, took a sip, and in my head questioned the universe by saying, “This can’t be it. I wonder what is gonna happen next”. I wanted life to be different. I wanted to feel better. I was 42 years old and it was the year 2015.

The following season in life arrived, and it stormed hard. My sister got cancer; then I got cancer, then my boyfriend and I ended our relationship, then my mom got cancer, then my mom died, then my stepmom died, then covid happened, then I lost all my jobs, then my aunt died. Within that storm is when it all started drastically shifting. I went from living out my broken little girl syndrome to living the most blissful life. This change of season lasted five years. This teacher got schooled big time by the universe. It was the most beautiful, ugly, messy, hopeless, hopeful, sad, loving, fearful, fearless, happy, angry, and uplifting free fall I had ever experienced. 

So what happened? My only explanation is that I witnessed a deep exploration of the human metamorphosis process. I am still here, and probably for a good reason. Looking back now, I can’t believe I lived the way I did for so long.  I did not know how to allow the beautiful human process to take place healthily. I was filled with past unresolved traumas, a belief system that did not serve me well, and eventually, it translated into a chronic disease. It also translated into a chronic disease for the women in my family. It made me question everything. Why and how was this happening?

I decided to heal myself naturally. I stood up and said to the universe, “ Whatever I have to do to be better, lay it on me. I will do whatever it takes, show me the way”. That is when the storm turned into a category five life hurricane. I am deeply humbled by what I observed and experienced. I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I found my way home. Instead of trying to buy a home, I was guided to look within, where home exists. Within that single lesson remains many other lessons I learned along the way down my yellow brick road. Nowadays, I enjoy the rain and storms and realize the universe is speaking, so I pay close attention. 

As I reflect and tapestry together all that happened, it all makes sense nowadays. It was like I was trying to put together a puzzle and had missing pieces. I found the pieces, and now it looks complete. I feel complete. Life is bittersweet. I now chase sunrises and sunsets. I have daily self-care rituals. I am currently a professional emotion feeler and releaser. I cry happy tears. I feel good about myself. I have purpose and clarity. I enjoy and trust the process of life. I am a fulfilled human being. I meditate daily and am guided by my moms and the universe. I feel part of the whole and oneness. I love to observe and soak up all the universe shows me daily. I love to connect with people and learn about them and their journeys. I take time to smell the flowers daily and am so happy to be alive in this human experience. I was shown that anything and everything is possible. I jumped into the deep ocean and swam to its depths, and was able to make it back to the surface. It would be accurate to say I was asleep in this human existence, then I woke up.

The beauty I witnessed within the storm was so profound that I have to share it. My intention now is to support others In their own transitional experiences. I have walked the walk, and I survived and thrived. I am cancer free, a joyful human being, and I look forward to each day.  It’s about feeling good, being healthy,  enjoying life, and having the power to create the most delicious life you can dream of. I hope to create portals to express all I experience and help lift others along the way. I think there are many ways to live life. Like a garden, we plant seeds, need water to sustain, bask in the sunshine and fresh air, and flourish into beauty if we take care of ourselves. We can mimic natural universal processes, which are our best teachers. I feel purpose. I feel love. I know we are all doing our best, and hopefully, we can have fun together in this lifetime—cheers to living, loving, doing, and being what we desire.